I try to count how many shades of green I can see from my horizontal vantage point next to an emerald-tiled pool, the cloudless sky mirrored in its surface. I give up when I reach double digits because the grounds at Finca Cortesin, the palatial hotel and golf club on the Costa del Sol, are so abundant – I’m surrounded by palms, New Zealand Christmas trees, gnarly olives, vines wound around trellised walkways, and scented walls of jasmine. Nature takes centre stage here: pool umbrellas are discreetly black, outdoor showers hidden by hedges, and daytime-chill playlists ditched in favour of birdsong.

It comes as little surprise, then, that there’s a team of 100 tending the gardens and golf course. Finca does everything at scale. The 67-suite hotel even includes a ‘Plaza’ which is home to shops, a pizzeria and an art gallery, although the estate’s 215 hectares are mostly taken up by a championship golf course and private residences.

My companion and I transfer to the hotel from Gibraltar – an easy 30-minute car journey – although most guests fly into Malaga. It’s a slightly further drive, but avoids the border crossing that’s necessary at Gibraltar, a British Overseas Territory (we’re tickled by a sign simply declaring ‘Spain’ with an arrow pointing towards the mainland).

Finca is all pristine white walls, mosaic tiles and joyful blooms of flowers. The hotel was originally the home of the aristocratic Parladé family (what a family home) and when, 15 years ago, it was converted into a hotel, the late Portuguese designer Duarte Pinto Coelho was brought in to design the public spaces. His influence is felt in the lounge, with its cavernous ceiling, and the two airy courtyards, around which the suites are built. Everywhere you look there are peachy terracotta walls, studded wooden doors and arched colonnades. Stone tiles are occasionally annotated with painted red batch numbers, which have been left for authenticity’s sake.

We’re led onto the terrace to unravel after our ruinously early flight, and quickly learn that chilled Taittinger (the house champagne), tapas and sunshine are the perfect antidote. Lunch is a fresh feast of tomatoes, mozzarella, padrón peppers, seafood and rosé, before a laborious afternoon by the aforementioned pool. At 35 metres, it’s generous, but not even Finca’s biggest: that would be the adults-only, Olympic-sized Pool 50, which has a relaxing Balinese vibe.

We retreat to our Junior Suite after a whole day in the sun. It’s the smallest room category on offer (and sounds rather more formal and less ‘Finca’ than the Garden, Pool and Cortesin Suites) but still spacious thanks to soaring ceilings, a huge bathroom, a private terrace and an entrance hall. Designer sisters Ana and Cristina Calderón’s room concepts complement the public areas; neutral tones and natural materials pair with jewel-red curtains, headboards and walls. Finca ticks all the boxes when it comes to the obvious things that five-star hotels should have, but surprisingly often don’t: I’m satisfied by the pillow options, shower power, absence of annoying lights at night, and black-out curtains. (Although a kettle in the room along with the coffee station wouldn’t go amiss for this tea-loving British guest!)

We’re almost tempted to succumb to our sun-drunk haze and fall into bed, but we’re lured out by the prospect of sustenance. REI is the hotel’s signature restaurant and specialises in sushi, prepared in an open kitchen. If first-class raw fish is your thing (it’s not necessarily mine, and my palate is somewhat bamboozled by a very unusual iced eel foie gras bon bon), this is the spot for you. If not, there’s El Jardin de Lutz, where the interiors threaten to overshadow the – very good – Spanish dishes: you eat surrounded by Delft tiles, antique pottery, and walls and curtains cast in the same green and white print, giving off Von Trapp family vibes (IYKYK). The small children on the neighbouring table are impressively quiet – no need, evidently, for their parents to use the hotel’s babysitting services (although I bet they’ll be taking up the offer of two hours of free Kids’ Club tomorrow morning).

The sommelier nudges us towards a hangover with an excellent white Burgundy which we finish on The Blue Bar terrace to the sound of live music. The pianist segues from Elton John to the Goo Goo Dolls, satisfying both us Millennials and the older American couples next to us (some of the many repeat visitors – about half of the guests fall into this category). We head back to our room humming Tiny Dancer and Iris and fall into a dreamless sleep in our king-size bed.

The next day’s plan is satisfyingly simple: breakfast, Beach Club, spa. Instead of a buffet at breakfast, we’re brought fresh juice, hot drinks, yogurt and muesli, croissants, jams and bread, with the option to order a hot dish too. No need to rush: the Beach Club, a mile down the hill, doesn’t open until 11am (between Wednesday and Saturday, closing at 7pm on those days) and a hotel shuttle will whizz you down there and back whenever you want. The Beach Club is home to another 35-metre pool – blue mosaic this time – surrounded by stylish navy and white loungers and daybeds. Dispel notions of lively Ibiza beach clubs. Here you’re lulled by a live guitarist playing Jack Johnson, Miley Cyrus and – oddly but brilliantly – Gala Rizzatto’s ’90s hit Freed from Desire.

I’m enticed back to the hotel by the promise of a Thai massage. The ballroom-sized spa pool area is possibly the most beautiful thing I’ve seen here: shabby chic in that quintessentially Mediterranean way, with a stone slab floor, towering pillars that seem twice the size when reflected in the dark blue water of the pool, and huge palm-filled planters. Double-height arched windows and matching mirrors opposite allow light to stream in and be reflected back.

I feel like a Borrower at Finca, where everything is oversized and superlative – and a relaxed, suntanned, wined-and-dined one at that. There just wasn’t enough time to explore all your delights, though, Finca Cortesin, so perhaps I’ll be returning with those Americans next year?

Rates start from approx. £597 per night per room on a B&B basis, fincacortesin.com

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