Receiving a wedding invitation is not only exciting, it also proves just how important you are to the bride and groom as they embark on their next chapter as husband and wife. But don’t let your importance go to your head because, after all, it’s not your day. In fact, there are few social situations where being on your best behaviour is more important. This being the biggest day of the happy couple’s lives, have a few champagnes too many and topple the cake or make a mother-of-the-bride joke that falls the wrong side of risqué and you could create memories that last a lifetime for all the wrong reasons. Whether you’ve been lucky enough to experience countless nuptials or this is your first rodeo, we’ve compiled a nifty, pocket-sized wedding guest etiquette guide to make sure it won’t be your last. You’re welcome. 

RSVP on time

Let’s kick off with the most important rule of all. Ignoring the RSVP deadline is not only rude but also extremely unhelpful as, as anyone who has planned a wedding will know, it’s imperative to know the exact number of people on the guest list months before the main event. This can be crucial for organising the table plan, transport to and from the venue and meals. Don’t be one of those people who needs a nudge – or a subtle email/text follow-up about what song you’d like to request at the reception – for the bride and groom to get a confirmation out of you. 

Don’t assume you have a plus one

Unless you’re married (and sometimes even then), it’s never good to assume your significant other is invited. If you have one, it will be stated on the invitation; if you don’t, it won’t. When it comes to numbers, the bride and groom may not care that you’ve just got a new partner after that horrible break-up last year, or that you’ve been with your significant other for a decade. In 2025, the cost per head for a wedding is roughly £110 – so please don’t expect the happy couple to splash the cash on someone they don’t know or, ultimately, someone they really won’t notice is there or not. 

Follow the dress code

I have seen a truly terrifying amount of pretty pale wedding guest dresses floating around on social media at the moment. Of course, most women are aware not to wear white and many brides encourage their guests to be creative with their outfits. But please be cautious about your colour palette. Rich navy, bold emeralds and fuchsia pinks? Yes, yes, yes. Misty, pale blues and super-light buttery yellows that, in certain lights, look a little bit white? No. Err on the side of caution – always – and save the palest of dresses for your next garden party or a day at the races. Wearing near-white to a wedding is not the way to dress to impress. 

But how about white dresses peppered with patterns? This one requires common sense; if it’s got a small touch of white but is mostly another colour, you’re likely in the clear. But if you’re not sure it’ll wash with the bride, ask a friend or the bridal party. Or simply just find something else to wear – Net-A-Porter is a big place with plenty of non-white options. 

Finally, if the couple state it’s a black tie dress code, honour it (and rent it if the budget doesn’t stretch). If the bride asks women to wear bright block colours, suck it up. If you have to buy something new, it’s surely a fair compromise considering they’re spending tens of thousands for you to be there in the first place – plus, we have plenty of wedding guest dress inspiration here. 

Don’t call the couple – even in emergencies 

It’s rather unfathomable that anyone would think of doing this but, if you are unclear, do not call the bride or groom on their wedding day – or, in my humble opinion, the day before either. Having likely planned this event for the past 12 months or more, they probably don’t care that you missed your flight, lost your passport, needed to take your cat to the vet, have norovirus, or, quite frankly, haven’t been organised enough to ensure you can show up for them. However, if you absolutely need to get in touch with someone, the bridesmaids or groomsmen are the next best thing. But you better make it good – I highly doubt they want to be bothered with your poor excuses either… 

Don’t choose a side at the ceremony

In Western culture, it was common for the bride's family and friends to sit on the left side of the aisle, while the groom's guests sit on the right. The tradition dates back to mediaeval times when the groom would stand on the right to keep his sword arm free to fend off surprise attacks but, thankfully, there’s not much need (we hope) for that nowadays. Best practice for knowing where to sit is to follow the lead of the usher and, unless you’re family, steer clear of the first few rows. 

In terms of what side to sit on, most modern couples would prefer the seats are full on both sides of the aisle. The last thing you want to do is make either the bride or groom feel less-than because they don’t have as many friends or family compared to their significant other – and the last thing they want to see as they say their vows is one side packed to the rafters and the other looking a little sad. Do the right thing. 

Turn your phone off

Another obvious one, but which many feel doesn’t apply to them, is turning your phone off – not on silent or Do Not Disturb, actually off. The very, very last thing that should ever happen at a wedding is someone’s alarm, ring tone or emails pinging in the distance. And, while I do have enough faith in our readers to be conscious of this, what many don’t understand is that the bride and groom really don’t need you to get the money shot – they have likely paid a photographer a pretty penny to do that for them. Few things are more cringeworthy than looking back at your wedding album to see the romantic shot of you standing at the altar framed by a sea of phones like it’s a Coldplay concert. It is, perhaps, a sad indictment of our times that so many guests don’t clock how inappropriate this is that ‘no-tech ceremony’ signs have become commonplace – don’t ignore them. 

Stay until carriages

There’s nothing quite so dispiriting as paying that aforementioned bill for half your guests to then duck out after the first dance. Imagine. Again, your lack of preparation in finding a babysitter or not organising your diary effectively enough so you have to be in two places at once (I’m getting 27 Dresses flashbacks) is not the happy couple’s problem, and if they’ve invited you to be there, your presence is clearly important to them. If it’s a real emergency, then it may be deemed acceptable to leave after the cutting of the cake – but do bear in mind your early exit will likely be noted by someone, even if the bride and groom are too wrapped up to notice.

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